VIEW FROM THE EDGE........OF THE SHED

 The grumpy bastard from North of the Border has been writing to me again.....

So, sir, you need a new wiper linkage for your Audi? Well that'll be £300 as it includes the motor, sir. But I don't need a motor, as mine is fine and healthy, so I'll just have the linkage, thank you. But no, let's not be stupid here. We live in a world of finite resources, and we are all doing our bit to save the planet. Except Audi, and M-B, and BMW, and all the other 'premium' car makers I'd guess. What a shame. But an all too common scenario down at the parts counter at Audi.
This of course means that some breaker will get my business, though they get to charge extortionate prices for old bits of scrap as they know full well the old story with Audi.
For now I've dismantled part of the old seized linkage so that the driver's side wiper still functions fine. Its often better if my passengers haven't got a clue about what's ahead.......
Lastly, why, I am sure we all wonder, would Audi manufacture a part like a wiper linkage where there is aluminium on steel contact? Built-in self-destruction perhaps??
I fear that he Audi and Disco are both heading towards their demises. Starter motors, coolant pumps, fuel filter housings, batteries, track rod ends; the list goes on and on and on, and that just for this year. Just remembered that I needed to get a new bulb for the number plate light at the rear of the Audi. So, how much do you think???? Well, housing was deemed to be so rusted that it cost me £100 for a bulb. Deeply joyful.

Meanwhile, the rumblings about independence continue. Lies, lies, more lies, and simply crap. From both sides I fear. But I would say the feeling here is that the race is very close. God help us if the selfish idiot Salmond does win. Lately JK Rowling has donated £1 million to the Unionist cause, which at least may encourage some of the children who will get the vote to think again.
There's been a fair amount of shit around this last week. I got my two-yearly bowel cancer test kit courtesy of the Scottish devolved parliament. Its a bit of a faff, though the mood is lightened by the fact that every time the instructions mention a 'motion', it is translated into the Scots vernacular as 'poo'. Essentially, open your samples card, and provide two pea-sized samples of poo from 3 poos over a 10 day period, and send to a man at Holyrood........ Actually,  what you are given is a card with 6 windows, and 6 lollipop sticks. So, you poo, you DO NOT LET THE POO TOUCH THE WATER, you take your pea-sized poo plops, and smear them on the windows. Then close the window (a bit like the reverse of the advent calendar, but smellier and messier, and potentially a health-risk in and of itself (the card will be hanging around your home for several days. (careful if you own a brown labrador as we all know what appetites they have!). Your two samples from each poo have to come from different parts of your motion, though I'm not altogether sure that the government will know if you've cheated, but then again, Salmond and Sturgeon are experts when it comes to shite... So, all you have to do is work out a method of motion-control that stops the turd taking a bath. Those French toilets where you have what I always think of as an 'inspection ledge' would be ideal, but alas, they are all too rare in Scotland. I got myself into the spirit of things by addressing the root-invaded blocked drain that leads away from my bathroom, but not nearly far enough away. A friend's high pressure petrol driven pump takes an hour to start and then tends  to run for 3 minutes. Missing lots of finger skin from the pull cord, and rather hoarse from all the shouting, but some of the blockage has been sent packing. More effort needed..........

Lastly, my garden has been taken over by honeysuckle; the insidious, low, creeping, bastard variety . If anyone has good ideas about how to eradicate it, I will pay handsomely..