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Tuesday 21 January 2014
Monday 20 January 2014
So that was christmas,Vain Muppets,Winter Sports .....blah blah blah
Judging by the out of date cheese and half and eaten jar of picked eggs in the fridge
Christmas has been an gone -good I don't have to pretend not to be grumpy anymore -not that I am unhappy, I just enjoy being grumpy-the house is full of plastic tat that "Father sodding Christmas" dropped off and now I'm expected to produce 6 off AA batteries from thin air, at any time of the day, 24/7, to provide power to the latest monster truck, wall climbing hex bug remote controlled shite made from recycled x-ray machines in China.
I m still finding pine needles all over the place -but that was my own fault - I bought the biggest cheapest tree I could find (£12.50 + vat) as the non-drop version was a tenner more - I went large thinking that the more needles you start with you wont notice the little fuckers falling off,I needn't have worried as the kids covered it in four acres of highly flammable toxic tinsel- I might as well have propped a broom up in the corner for them to decorate-and saved myself the pain of "Blocked sodding Dyson rage"-those things are shite- only any good for hoovering up clean houses.
The best thing about it all was the bonfire constructed using the excessive "tat" packaging that came free with all the other "tat"- the kids were impressed when I lobbed the Christmas tree on top of it observing the hot sparks and exploding sap rocketing towards them looked "like fireworks"
I see its been revealed that over the last 19 years our brave political heroes, have seen fit to record themselves in the annuals of parliamentary history- spending over £250k on bloody portraits of themselves - well done,you vain twats that's really helped pay for the new science block.
I decided to save the Tax payer some cash and commissioned a household name (in our household anyway) to draw the cabinet for the price of a packet of chocolate buttons.
All though you shouldn't believe what you read - the people in charge of the press are as at least as bad as the vain inbred dimwits next to the river Thames.I laughed when they were caught on CCTV playing "hide the lap top" that contained potential evidence that could implement them in the phone tapping scandal -yet they still plead innocence-clinging onto the hope that their vain ex -employers next to the Thames will bail them out.
Ive been slightly cheered up by the start of "winter sports season" - I don't mean the winter Olympics I mean temping mice into old fashioned mouse traps- an annual sport in our house when the temperature outside drops below the temperature inside the house-the furry little feckers decide they they would rather be inside -lucky for me they cant resist peanut butter -Its brightens up my mornings when I see a tail sticking out the jaws of the trap - all though it puts the kids off their Rice Krispies
Christmas has been an gone -good I don't have to pretend not to be grumpy anymore -not that I am unhappy, I just enjoy being grumpy-the house is full of plastic tat that "Father sodding Christmas" dropped off and now I'm expected to produce 6 off AA batteries from thin air, at any time of the day, 24/7, to provide power to the latest monster truck, wall climbing hex bug remote controlled shite made from recycled x-ray machines in China.I m still finding pine needles all over the place -but that was my own fault - I bought the biggest cheapest tree I could find (£12.50 + vat) as the non-drop version was a tenner more - I went large thinking that the more needles you start with you wont notice the little fuckers falling off,I needn't have worried as the kids covered it in four acres of highly flammable toxic tinsel- I might as well have propped a broom up in the corner for them to decorate-and saved myself the pain of "Blocked sodding Dyson rage"-those things are shite- only any good for hoovering up clean houses.
The best thing about it all was the bonfire constructed using the excessive "tat" packaging that came free with all the other "tat"- the kids were impressed when I lobbed the Christmas tree on top of it observing the hot sparks and exploding sap rocketing towards them looked "like fireworks"
I see its been revealed that over the last 19 years our brave political heroes, have seen fit to record themselves in the annuals of parliamentary history- spending over £250k on bloody portraits of themselves - well done,you vain twats that's really helped pay for the new science block.
I decided to save the Tax payer some cash and commissioned a household name (in our household anyway) to draw the cabinet for the price of a packet of chocolate buttons.
Ive been slightly cheered up by the start of "winter sports season" - I don't mean the winter Olympics I mean temping mice into old fashioned mouse traps- an annual sport in our house when the temperature outside drops below the temperature inside the house-the furry little feckers decide they they would rather be inside -lucky for me they cant resist peanut butter -Its brightens up my mornings when I see a tail sticking out the jaws of the trap - all though it puts the kids off their Rice Krispies
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