Bastard parking,chocolate for breakfast?..Bollocks it must be December

   I'm not sure how it happened one minute I'm wedging the bank card in Bristol Airports short stay car park machine, causing a large tail back and a small police incident- by illegally dumping the car full of children in the "security zone" and running back towards the  automated gate, "Basil Faulty" stlye to give it a good kicking for failing to return the bank card I offered it,just to let me out the sodding place

   I have to admit the Policeman was very helpful pointing out that they would have to tow the car if I left it there and the children do "look a bit scared"  ...the thought did cross my mind- leave the kids in the care of the state for a week whilst I run off on a jolly in place of the planned half term week with Grannies, Grandpas,Aunties and Uncles etc,instead of a Reginald Perrin week  the Policeman offered to guard the machine, call maintenance guy to come open it up and look for the card, whilst I drove back round  the houses and into the car park for a second fucking time -we were only meant to be "dropping mummy off" for her business trip, I had all ready put 3 pound coins in the hateful machine,before resorting to shoving the team debit card in the slot meant for prepaid tickets-how was I meant to know that? I live in a shed most of the time -by this time the machine had given up the card via maintenance guys screwdriver and I was able to get on my way,fueling up for the 300 mile trip "up north" - 4 of us and various kiddie crap  squashed into 13 year old Audi  A3,only as the 13 year old Land Rover had "rogered" its self the day before.
The sound track was "Are we on the motorway yet?" from the 4 year old accompanied by "Its my turn on the Kindle" every alternate minute from the 6 and 8 year old - I was happy when "Kindle" battery went flat- unfortunately the 8 year old spotted a USB charger at the services- bollocks-how times have changed back in my day you were lucky to get a bag of Golden Wonder to share at the services- but I couldn't endure the whingeing of no Kindle for another 100 miles,plus the 4 year old had moved onto "when are we off the motorway?"  and I could tell he was building up to "are we there yet?"

Anyway -that was the end of  October ,the next thing I know is the little angels can only be pried out of bed in the mornings by reminding them about snowman shaped chocolates hiding behind cardboard windows,which means... its December and "Sodding Christmas" is bearing down on me,what happened to November? I have no idea,I must have used it without noticing, done some house bashing ? come to think of it I  have a distant memory of some shed time,a foreign land, cider,old mates and Rugby.

I know Im paying the price now......